The Epicenter of
rife with corruption, cronyism, nepotism,
and wholesale criminal negligence.
Living in Milton and doing some light shopping in Newton can contribute to
an isolated and insulated illusion that the world is at relative peace and,
indeed, comes with its own Hollywood soundtrack if youre, you
know, white and Catholic. I was raised as both, so I can mingle freely among
the local Leprechauns, with infrequent detection. And while Milton has
been recently ranked at 'Number 7' among the 'Top 100 Best Places to Live'
in America, I can only hope that isn't actually true. It merely makes one
wonder as to just how far the rest of America has degenerated in more
recent times. But still, just a few miles and some minutes away, there
is a darkness
When most of the country considers Boston at least those who view
maybe even those who dont an image is often
conjured of Harvard and M.I.T., flanked by David Gergen on one side
and James Taylor on the other. But Harvard and M.I.T. are in Cambridge, not
Boston and James Taylor has long since moved away to Berkshire County
in western Massachusetts. And if your notions of Bostonians are further forged
by the warm, cheerful, and amiable Bob Villa and Norm Abram of This
Old House yup youve been duped. If you additionally
summon mental images of innumerable elite intellectuals sitting around bookstore
coffeehouses, pondering high concepts, then oh
Bostons long-held press releases have really fucked with your
In truth, this ... liberal town ... is easily among the most bigoted,
close-minded, race-conscious, corrupt, incompetent, ill-spoken, and
uneducated oasis of intolerance that my liberal contemporaries could
have conjured. Welcome to Boston where the culturally enlightened
may refer to the upscale Brookline as Jew Town
only fair, given that the community-minded City of Boston, themselves,
block-busted the Jews out of three other areas of town.
Now, for those of you paying attention, you may have sensed a suggestion
that few others would dare imply, shattering years of careful image-building.
Simply put, Boston
is not liberal (read that again). But it
may just be the epicenter for what liberalism has become. And if it
is, then the conservative movement has been handed more fire-power
to sully liberalism, and its civilized members, than conservatives could
have ever fantasized in their most ejaculatory of wet dreams ... presuming,
of course, that conservatives indeed conjure naughty images.
city organizes its Kodak Picture Moments Gallery as part of its bus tour.
But no, Boston is not Beacon Hill and Back Bay. It is to a
much greater extent a bombed out, burned out, bummed out, slummed
out, out house, just this side of Trenton and Detroit. For the true and
actual Boston is, indeed, far less Newbury and Boylston Street and
far more Blue Hill Avenue.
Boston isnt a mecca of the intellectual elite. It is comprised
of Dot Rats, Dotties, Southies and
Townies as proud, self-titled proclamations of being among
those in allegiance with other uneducated, trashed-out and burned-up, drunken
Boston isnt John Quincy Adams, John Hancock, and Benjamin Franklin.
It is a city that, on this day, is far more historically influenced
by MIA gangster, Whitey Bulger and his extended crime family that included
a brother as President of the Massachusetts State Senate, now collecting
a state pension for his stint as the President of The University of Massachusetts
not to be confused with the other brother, a Massachusetts
court clerk magistrate, convicted of perjury before two grand juries (I might
refer you to Howie Carrs book, The Brothers Bulger: How They
Terrorized and Corrupted Boston for a Quarter Century).
But the Bulgers along with segregationalists, Mayor Ray Flynn, Louise
Day Hicks and Albert "Dapper" O'Neil were merely precursors to a city
that became no less ruthless and corrupt. Rather, the next-generation power
brokers simply became slicker if not smarter, more mainstream,
and further entrenched in the body politics of Boston, along with
the unions, inclusive of the police and all venues of city
Boston isnt Cheers. Its an endless array of
broken-down dive bars, several open for breakfast. An omelet, two strips
of bacon, and Irish whiskey. Mmm, mmm, good. Parking lots and sidewalks
are littered with the small nip bottles that much of the more civilized world
has only seen in their airline travels. While double parking is a matter
of tradition in Boston, without citation, triple parking merely signals
the location of a liquor store just ahead. Cheers is for
the tourist. For the lions share of Bostonians, the front stoop of
a Section 8 apartment complex works just as well. And, like actual bars,
the entrance stairs also has its regulars, where everybody knows your
Boston isnt the epicenter of the finest hospitals and physicians
known to man no matter how often each medical center proclaims that
theyre the best and most respected in the world (and they
actually do that). Its a city that Mr. Heath Care, himself
Ted Kennedy flew out of to get his specialized
care in North Carolina. Say, Hey to your Aunt Bee
Meanwhile, the physicians and other health workers sit in public restaurants
with blood and sputum dripping off of lab coats and scrubs, speaking proudly
of their infectious disease units
not making this shit up.
But lets say you prefer to self-medicate. Where could one get
the very best in life-altering drugs even if they may not be
regarded as pharmaceuticals, per se? Why, the Boston police,
of course. And you can be assured of its purity because they trafficked it,
themselves. See the select members of Bostons law enforcement
for your Assurance of Quality. Consultations are free.
But beyond this public service, expect little. I used to wonder
why there were so many infractions going on along the streets from
triple parking to behaviors less benign with police cars parked right
along the curb. You could drive up on the sidewalk with the
police in plain sight, even and no response. Then it was explained
Many of Bostons finest werent where they were actually
assigned to be. To respond would only draw attention to the fact
that they were out of district
Indeed, the cops from District
C-11 were down banging their girlfriends in District B-3, and the District
B-3 cops were screwing their booty in District E-13. You know
and protect. This, in between protracted cell phone calls from their cruisers,
mixing it up with personal errands across town
Indeed, for the Boston
police, murder, itself, isn't regarded as a homicide. It's an inconvenient
Okay, so the City of Boston didnt get a previously unknown wind
Rather, it was "brought to their attention" (theres
a difference). With this, they had to respond. Damn. And, with that, they
proposed to outfit the police cruisers with tracking devices. Alas, a problem
The Police Union cited it as a violation of their civil rights, vigorously
and won. Really, I swear
Im not making
this shit up. The patrol cars
that didnt actually belong
to the police (or their union), but rather, to the Boston
taxpayer, were not allowed to be outfitted with trackers because it violated
the privacy of the on-duty police officers.
The plot would nevertheless thicken in 2009 when members of both the Boston
Police and Fire Department voiced strong objection to a new policy that banned
them from public drinking in the St. Patricks Day parade, in
And were not talking Gatorade here
This party-like atmosphere, indeed, extends into all city services. Some
time back, a local television news team secretly followed a variety of city
workers with video cameras throughout the course of their working days. And
so it was ... as they floated about town, socializing, visiting friends,
running some errands, having prolonged pub lunches, and bringing their hot
food in styrofoam containers to local parks for extended picnics. They estimated
that the city workers were devoting less than an hour or two a day to their
actual job assignment. This investigatory news coverage would more recently
be repeated for the neighboring town of Quincy ... with strikingly similar
But at least
the ambulances seem to be on top of things when, at any given moment, there
are more sirens sounding off in Boston than the Blitz of London in World
War II. And theyre not generally transporting simple trip and fall
injuries. Such is the peace and love of my native liberalism.
Welcome to Boston.
Taxation, a hallmark of Boston and the State of Massachusetts, despite the
earliest of revolts, was originally conceived to fund and address a rather
simple list of needs. Chief among them, defense and infrastructure. Weve
already briefly covered the defense portion of our program with a quick overview
of the Boston police department. But what of the infrastructure, you ask?
The Boston roads are a strong candidate to be indicted for their axle-breaking,
wheel-deforming, tire-shredding, bulb-popping, fuse-ejecting crimes against
humanity. In short, its simply pointless to have your automobile aligned,
outside of the academic exercise. The car, in fact, wont be able to
hold its alignment over the distance between the service center and your
driveway. I say this literally, without exaggeration. And, in many
instances, your suspension system will be blown out within the space of one
to two years, following complete replacement. Even a Mercedes mechanic who
could have made a fair amount of money for strut replacements advised me,
Wait until they get really bad. Youll just be back next year,
anyway. Its been estimated that the cost of automotive repair
due to the Boston roads is over $750, per vehicle
per year. Be that
as it may, in ones effort to dodge the holes much
like a video game how does one watch the road when you
have to actually
JOSEPH LAW, No. 195:
No state may impose vehicular inspection when one's own roads couldn't possibly
pass similar scrutiny.
Its not just the potholes craters, rather that the city
ostensibly repairs with the cheap driveway sealer that one buys at Home Depot.
Its the entire road surface. The manhole covers, as an example, are
often sunk so far below grade, you ponder as to why they bother with the
covers at all. Moreover, you wonder whose cousin got the contract
for these covers as the manholes are commonly placed in threes
only 3 feet apart from one another
all leading to the very
same place. Its the perfect contractual compliment to eight
traffic signals for just one direction at a singular
intersection on a two-lane road.
But its a damn shame that the city cant sufficiently light the
roads from above. I refer to these sub-lumen night lights on poles
as sky markers. These should not be confused with the sporadic
lights along the Massachusetts highways that are
but never actually on. In fact, theyre not even hooked
up. But a contractual obligation had been met. And to make
matters worse, the painted lane markers on the road are entirely non-reflective
dashed, instead, with white house primer, completely lost and entirely
invisible on wet pavement. No matter, really. Boston drivers routinely make
up the lanes as they go, as a matter of course. Summarily, Boston has provided
you with among the most dangerous roads in the country. And, as a Bostonian,
you paid for it
At least a special fund has been set aside to replace the
dozens of misspelled road signs. And again, no ... I'm still not
making this shit up.
City of Boston Commissioned
Public Art entitled, 'Love Your NeiGhbor, AB yoRSelf: Don't
Ever Dou Drugs'.
Well, at least it kept the Boston public school teenagers
busy with something to do. This would not include the professionally
produced road signs.
In fairness, Boston does have to divert over $600 million a year away
from all other roads and bridges to pay their monthly installments on the
22 billion dollar, Big Dig project or almost the cost of the entire
infrastructure improvement proposal under President Obamas original
stimulus package for the whole nation. This bought a 3.5 mile tunnel
that leaks like a spaghetti colander in the wall fissures and ceiling
at least when the ceiling isnt collapsing, crushing people in its wake.
their cars, too. And why? No, it wasnt just the staples and
hobby-grade epoxy used in the construction. As phrased at Workers.org
The whole Big Dig project has been rife with corruption, cronyism,
graft, nepotism and wholesale criminal negligence.
Welcome to Boston.
And upon completion, there was little actual improvement in traffic flow
anywhere. For Boston never learned that, traffic accidents aside,
congestion really happens at the exits and beyond, simply working its way
back to the main arteries. Alas, Boston has no two traffic lights
in sync and basic city planning, including the raw fundamentals of traffic
regulation, remains to be an entirely elusive concept to Boston ... Billions
could have been saved, otherwise.
In a related aside, combine this with Boston drivers who are not only
pathological in their every move, but who are also dexterously unskilled
on top of it. Rage, combined with absolutely no perceivable motor
skills. Bostonians, after all, are what they call 'angry drunks' ...
even when they haven't been drinking. Perhaps this is why the lower
edge of the Massachusetts license plate reads, 'The Evil Spirit of America'
But despite the you know deaths, dont think that Boston
isnt looking out for your well-being. Oh, they are
the City of Boston isnt the FDA, OSHA, the EPA, the ATF
or any federal agency, for that matter. They merely think they
In 2009, the Boston Public Health Commission mandated that no cigarettes
could be sold at Boston pharmacies ... Jenos Pizza Rolls, Castle Burgers,
Cheetos, and Mountain Dew, fine. But smokes? No. I know
anal retentive types applaud it. But there is a principle here. Boston
told large corporations (Walgreens, CVS, and Rite-Aid, among others) that
they couldnt legally sell
a fully legal product. Any
one of the pharmacies could have taken it to court and won
easily. But no, they folded. Now for you gleeful, rabid anti-smokers,
I have a little something special just for you, as well
so many of you are obese
The severely speech-impaired, village idiot that the locals call
Mayor had a great idea and, by way of
Public Health Commission, Mayor Tom Menino would ban the use of any trans-fats
in all of Bostons bakeries. So now The City of Boston will not
only tell you what entirely legal product you can or cant sell,
but they further rule as to how one produces their legal product.
Yes, this in itself is illegal. Thats right.
But the panty-waisted, Casper Milquetoast Bostonians simply lay down
But they do get their frustrations out
regarding any one of
a number of things
Compounding all of their other problems, many Boston
residents suffer from a well-deserved, penis-envied inferiority complex to
New York an emotional anguish not helped by the Bostonians
two-tiered addiction to cabbage and heroin. This has resulted in, say, a
family being pulled from a car bearing New York license plates and, on the
presumption that they were Yankees fans, were beaten with baseball bats
(appropriately enough). Oh, yeah
the children, too.
It is further a town that curiously celebrates its sports victories
by trashing the town, a la Watts riot. Imagine when they lose. Yes,
I know the area is best known for leeches, scarlet letters and
witch-burnings, but surely the locals must have advanced,
sociologically, on some level
But no, they
endeavor to sodomize black men with flagpoles in front of City Hall
in broad daylight, with Bostonians looking on and the police ... standing
Did I mention that Boston is racist?
Well, baseball legend, Barry Bonds did in 2004 when he said that hed
never play for the Red Sox because "Boston was too racist." He wouldnt
do it for a $50 million contract that included 10,000 steroid injections,
in fact. But what of those who have played for the Sox? Several former
players both black and white cited Boston as the most
racist city they had ever known. Imagine fucking their fan-base like
that with such unkind words.
You may well wonder, why then, Massachusetts elected a black governor in
the ineffectual form of Deval Patrick as a man who would hire
his wholly unqualified friends and neighbors for positions that had
been long retired. Ill tell you that just as soon as you explain
how the state also voted in four Republican governors in
succession, from 1991 to 2007
There is often an odd
disconnect as to how the state votes and the general mood
on the street. Go figure
Enter gay marriage. First, do not confuse judicial and legislative actions
with Bostons general tone and sentiments. After all, a
police presence was significantly stepped-up in the Back Bay neighborhood
after several brutal beatings of the gays who lived in the area more
than doubling in anti-gay hate crimes between 2004 and 2007, further increasing
since. And not just two or three of them, mind you. Dozens of them. These
should not be confused with the over 200 general purpose,
garden-variety hate crimes the city enjoys on a yearly basis. And
those are just the reported ones.
Welcome to Boston.
.. If public assistance results in the assisted
outnumbering the public, can it still be regarded as
help? And, if so, who should be screaming for help? When
the Number One question in Boston rental real estate is, do you take
Section 8?, there may be a problem. This point of inquiry coming before
any exploration as to, say, how many bedrooms a rental may have. To help
expedite the apartment search, several buildings conveniently post handmade
signs at the windows that declare, We Take Section 8.
Curious thing, this Welfare Reform Act. Both the Republicans and the Democrats
proudly claim it as their own. And yet
look four columns over on the
and behold what has happened in the disability column
since factored separately from conventional welfare. Now,
in Boston, both alcoholism and crack cocaine addiction are regarded as bona
fide disabilities. Benefits are issued in a heartbeat. Yet, curiously, those
who have suffered and survived massive and disabling aneurysms
as just one example have to jump through hoops of fire, waiting
months and years for a single disability benefit.
Be that as it may, if you prefer not to be part of Bostons proud,
indigenous tradition of alcoholism and chronic drug addiction, theres
still a plan for you
Enter one of Newt Gingrichs sociological solutions: Foster Homes. Okay,
so when the welfare money reached the end of its newly-imposed shelf-life,
foster care became the new darling of the welfare community. In fact, the
welfare-foster mother in Boston would soon come to learn that they could
secure more money by taking in someone elses bastard
child than they had ever received for their own. Yeah! Up to over
$1,000 a pop per month, plus perks, inclusive of camp and full
transportation pickup. No caps, no terms, no end-life
and seemingly little investigation ... In time, children were soon being
stacked, several-deep, on floor-strewn mattresses and cots, spilling out
into hallways. The foster mothers were dutifully serving up a diet
of bread, water, chips and store-brand soda. Then they went out to lease
SUVs, purchase widescreen televisions, and make their appointments for hair
Indeed, Boston more than any other city of which Im aware
demonstrated that there was never such a thing as Welfare Reform.
Just Welfare Redux ... only better
For if you collect food
stamps, now modernized by Bostons EBT cards, youre currently
also entitled to a free cell phone and service. What a deal.
But wait ... It gets better much better ... For now welfare
recipients in Boston (and throughout the Commonwealth of Massachusetts) would
also be entitled to ... a free car, as well. It kind of makes
the complimentary cell phone service seem incidental, doesn't it? The state
currently pays $4,000, per unit, to an out-of-state non-profit for
donated cars that end up costing the taxpayer just around $6,000 a pop (for
the first year). And how does that extra $2,000 get added on top? Because
the welfare recipient also gets fully subsidised insurance to go along with
that car. Yes, the excise tax is also paid. And because some of these
cars may - at any time - break down some distance away from a
preferred garage that may cost as much as $200 in towing fees, free
roadside assistance is also included. This, as it was argued, because a $200
towing fee would cut too deeply into the individual's monthly welfare check.
It was additionally argued that it all ... (quote) "makes sense because it
helps take families off welfare." ... But why would they want to be
taken off, at this point? Jesus. And, yet again, I shit
you not. This is all very real.
Welcome to Boston.
Look, I've been one to believe in helping people out really, but this
is all getting just a bit weird even for me ...
I know you aficionados of Boston or of a socialized liberalism
are comforting yourselves in the belief that Im somehow
cherry-picking the anecdotal to deliberately put
BeanTown (named after the legume's associated flatulence) in
a harsh and cruel light. But no. I have, in truth, merely provided the briefest
of overviews regarding Boston, not speaking even the half of it.. There was
a profound frustration in trying to cover so much in a relatively compact
space for a piece destined for Internet readership. And I couldnt possibly
be entirely successful in that endeavor. One could go on with a dedicated
website of its very own.
By way of a cyclical realignment of planets, it would turn out that my home
outside of the city would be only a short distance away from a childhood
friend who I grew up with in Port Washington, New York. He argues that Boston
can't be singularly characterized, as there are many 'Bostons'. I
do believe that he's correct. Such could be said, perhaps, of any
urban center. But I counter that when a city encompasses multiple personalities
some quad-polar the city is most defined by the city
that dominates ... and the one that ultimately prevails above all others.
Be mindful of the fact that I hail from the bleeding heart wing of
liberalism. And for me to notice these sociological aberrations
and outright perversions, things just cant be good. I cant yet
say whether Boston demonstrates the outright failure of liberalism
or if it exists merely as a twisted and perverse application of the same.
Im still trying to sort that out
But what I can say is
that Boston is not of liberal mind. It is simply madness, in
cognitive disarray. At the least, it may well demonstrate what liberalism
can become, if left unchecked. Some would argue that the outcome is innate
in all of liberalism, itself. And they may not be entirely wrong. It sadly
took Boston, itself, for me to entertain that possibility. Being born and
raised in the liberal tradition, liberalism always seemed like such a wonderful
thing ... until one was forced to actually look at it or, perhaps
... have one's nose rubbed in it. And I get no pleasure or satisfaction
from saying this. No, this isnt mutiny, my fellow liberals.
Its mere objectivity.
It might be ultimately survivable if Boston's brand of unchecked, 'free-verse'
liberalism was simply the monster that ended up consuming itself.
But no. It has, over time, become stronger destroying a great deal
of what was in its wake, much like Godzilla.
The shame or rather, pity of Boston is in what it could
have been, rather than what its become, relative to its history
and, moreover, historical intent. Its since been squandered, used,
bludgeoned, and sullied to what is likely irretrievable levels. And, as it
relates to Boston, we cant blame the conservatives for that
EPILOGUE: While having survived the orgy-scale sex scandal at the
renowned Milton Academy, the Norman Rockwell town seemingly couldn't brush
away a 19 year old decapitating the head of his 5 year old sister with a
kitchen knife in front of the stunned police ... so they could watch. This,
after having already stabbed his 17 year old sister to death, prior to the
unsuccessful attempt to murder his 9 year old sibling. The townspeople of
Milton would be left to wonder if this might, in some way, adversely effect
their 'Number 7' standing among the 'Best Places to Live in America' ...
WE CARE. REALLY CARE: Taking an enforcement cue from Boston, the State of
Massachusetts would outlaw the sale and distribution of ice cream in all
public schools as part of their new, statewide 'Wellness Policy'.