A Big Welcome To ...
One way or another, guaranteed to offend most anyone - friend, foe,
or the impersonator.
Dont invite me to a Group. If I wanted to
be part of a group, I wouldnt sit in self-imposed, solitary confinement
at a blissfully aloof computer terminal, selectively communicating with people
at my occasional whim by remote control. And while Im
If youve joined 214 Groups and 541
Pages, youre basically uninvolved and
about nothing. Youre not an activist
or even someone with an interest. Youre a
joiner. Which brings me to
If you have 1,229 friends, that can only mean you have no genuine
friends at all just human collectables. Though I do congratulate
you for acquiring more acquaintances than all of the people Ive merely
encountered in the entirety of my lifetime, across two continents.
Stop posing as famous people, in tribute to. No, Ann Coulter
isnt going to send you a personal note of thanks, filled with
adulation for your imposter-like efforts. Shes merely adding you to
her extensive and on-going, Possible Psycho Potential list.
Stop sending me personal gifts on FaceBook. You know that
Ill only re-gift them like so many poison-injected, Christmas
season fruitcakes sending your virtual thoughtfulness off to
some other, minimal-effort, cheap bitch.
Stop asking me to get FaceBook for iPhone. After all,
my most enthusiastically used App on the iPhone
is End Call.
To the members of the virtual Farmville, cultivating digital crops:
You really need to think about hopping that big Binary Bus and take
a field trip over to Brainville. Pick up any brain you may find there,
for by now clearly most any brain will do. In any event
yes this is what your life has so tragically become.
Stop asking me to 'Become a Fan Of ...'. The people who I actually
admire ..... I already know.
Im sorry, but
the only one whos interested in the
compelling, life-changing event projections of your Daily Horoscope
is you. At least remove it upon reading, or after frantically making the
necessary strategic adjustments to your Daily Planner.
Stop betting that you Can Find 1,000,000 People Who
. I can likely cough up a million people who attach DC electrode
clamps to their nipples and thats in the UK, alone. So
what, then, becomes your point?
Beyond this, stop making what could be a 10 second assertion with
a 28 minute YouTube video link, Parts I and II.
To FaceBook: Stop running the sidebar promotional banner, Someone
is Looking for You!, pictorially featuring some chick pushing her ass
out at me. A) Ive likely already done that ass back when
I, myself, looked like a 17 years old just like the vamp
whos ostensibly seeking me out, and B) If I wanted to
be found, I wouldnt have unpublished phone numbers and fake, alternative
addresses with redirected mail. Im a fucking star, after all.
And even my public persona only promoted my real first name.
If New Age Shamanism is bullshit in the real and actual world, what
makes you think FaceBook will validate it with a magical air of new-found
Black Hoochie Chicks from urban ghetto projects should stay within
their rightful domain: My Space.
It was, after all, the deal you seemingly struck as a negotiated reparation
alternative to 40 acres and a mule.
Additionally, Iranian students need to stay exclusively on Twitter.
I mean, come on its not like youre going to actually get
out more than 140 characters before being shot in the head, anyway.
Stop Recommending Friends to me as people I dont
even know. Let them, if anything, come to
the words, I beg of you in the message field that accompanies
the Friend Request sometimes helps, but certainly offers no