CONFIDENTAIL MEMO TO HOUSE REPUBLICANS:
While you were out and away from your desk
The tread-worn, bald tires you allowed Americans to continually drive on
until the steel belts pushed their way through the remaining rubber
they blew out finally, leaving many of your constituents stranded along the
side of the road. They tried calling the Republican Auto Club several
times, in fact but got no response. They did get your answering service
yes, but they waited along the breakdown lane for several hours
So they called the company who originally sold them the tires. Maybe they
could help, the stranded motorists reasoned. But no, they didnt cover
blow-outs and the situation didnt fall under the purchased road hazard
warranty, in any event. They further indicated that they generally dont
dispatch new replacements anyway, because it cost too much to truck them
out to the breakdown locale. The tire company advised that they could
do it if one had actual roadside assistance coverage, but that would
currently cost $1325 a month because they now had you know
a preexisting blowout, and shit.
The children were crying. The adults were collapsing. Pets were looking for
A bunch of Democrats, loaded in a van probably pot-filled,
pulled in behind them. They said, Weve got some tires here. Let
us change them out for you. Out came the jacks, as told. No, the new
tires werent the fancy, high-speed Pirellis that had previously served
the motorists so well. They were likely cheap retreads, in fact the
ones that could give out 100 miles down the road. Who knows? But the
they got tires.
Some few of our fellow Republicans drove past the breakdown site and screeched
the brakes to a halt. They ran to the people from their Lincoln Town car
like frantic paramedics racing to a cardiac arrest victim.
Wait!, they implored. We were just getting ready
to fix those tires. Really.
One stranded and irate motorist queries,
and where the fuck
have you been?. He was probably from one of those weak,
Red-Magenta states. Maybe even Blue. A real instigator, in any event.
One Republican Senator we dont know which one at the moment
told the motorists that, while he admitted the tires had some
problems and could use a little work to make them right,
he and his fellow Republicans had a plan to do just that. We
really mean it this time, he said in desperate earnest.
Yeah, quick thinking on his part.
And besides, advised the Senator
the tires may
look a little rough now sure, but those babies are Pirelli
P-Zeros the finest, high-speed, best-performing tires
in the fucking WORLD ... People fly in from around the
globe just to be run over by them ... And with just a few
you know patches
Alas, the collective motorists disrespectfully flipped the Senator
and his entourage the bird as they drove off declaring, The Democrats.
They got tires. And as they took a glance in the rearview mirror, they
saw the Republican ensemble jumping franticly in the air, flailing arms,
to and fro
pleading, Wait! Weve got a couple cans of
Fix-A-Flat in the trunk! We'll shoot it right in
those babies ..."
One motorist was heard to mutter, You had your chance to fix
this shit, assholes. Several of them, in fact. The Democrats. They
URGENCY: Time to talk about fixing Motorist Care again.
People ... getting itchy. Show some concern here. Whatever. Don't make it
look so mendacious like last time. Stall. Tell them we'll promise
to deliver better tires once we get the you know ... 'air
thing' ... worked out. "Don't want to rely on foreign air"... shit like
P.S. Remember the 'Handling Media About
Transexual Mistress Revelation' seminar this weekend. Grilled salmon and
open bar. Tie-Tac giveaways. Country band, too!
Together in Christ. All that.
And, with that, the GOP roadside Senator would return to his home only to
find a note written by his wife
Hey, Asshole -
You promised me this. You promised me that. You did nothing.
Im leaving you, you egocentric, spouse-neglecting, hooker-screwing,
secretary-banging, panty-sniffer. Go fuck yourself.
SENATOR Note to Blackberry:
Stop by florist tomorrow on way back home from The Club. Perhaps a little
blouse number, a pair of earrings or something. Worked before. Maybe get
Peg to do it for me on her lunch break. I wonder what panties shell
be wearing tomorrow, anyway ???? Yum, yum.
Mitch McConnell wants emergency meeting, Monday, to discuss health care.
Fuck me. Thought that issue went away with Ted Kennedy's brain. What do they
expect us to do about it - reform the pricey old bitch? Oh, Pleeeeeze. LOL,
LOL, LOL! :-P
Media Something Transexual Mistress Revelation Seminar
Saturday, 6:00 PM
Bullfeathers, 410 First Street SE
Right. As Chris Matthews correctly pointed out, the Republicans havent
been proactively engaged in Health Care since Abraham Lincoln. Indeed, with
the new entertainment of Health Care reform, the Republicans have only one
entity to blame for such a consideration:
they concede that the current system (in whatever year) has
it problems, but theyve done that before several times,
in fact even suggesting they had their own, better plan, curiously
unrevealed except in the most vague of terms ... if at all. Point of fact,
the only time the Republicans come to the podium on this issue is when a
Democrat takes the stage first.
This is quite understandable for the conservative movement as if
conservatism has movement. Its very nature is one of standing
at idle or engaging reverse gear (by their own admission). Indeed, if
conservatives were automotive designers theyd be touting the benefits
of carburetors over the fuel injected delivery premiered by the progressives.
Its not in their makeup to create or innovate. To change. All is well,
after all, as thought. Or it was until the progressives came by and started
to fuck with things some time after 1955 or so. With that, the conservatives
would soon become The Chevy Big Block of American politics. Perhaps the
Conservative Republicans see no particular need for change
understand and, as such, outside of merely holding the fort,
it has made them the most uninspired, do-nothing, lazy fucks in all of politics
(since around 1865). And this, their attribute. They actually promote
it with boastful pride.
Now, what keeps these indolent thumb-twirlers afloat at all is the fact that
liberalism has, indeed, fucked up with several of its own
experiments. Their prototypes. Their concept cars. Its
what conservatism must rely upon as they, themselves, never have anything
new on the display floor in their own showroom. Christ, they dont
even have a showroom. For, as of this writing, the alternative Republican
plan is merely the truncation of the Obama plan, containing no
original thought of its own. The principle edit? The Public
Option which is
whats the word?
option. Or, as its known in conservative circles: Fascistically
But whether Nationalized Health Care is a good thing, long overdue
or decidedly defective in its nature the conservatives have, on this
issue, lost my support not out of the gate, mind you. But over time.
And they have done so by their own hand not by way of the pumped
promotional efforts of progressives. Summarily, the conservatives
deserve to lose. Theyve earned such abandonment with a long
legacy of broken promises, vague and hollow alternatives, wholesale negligence,
and the unreserved perpetuation of complete bullshit, having the most casual
relationship with the truth. For this, may they lose and lose badly.
And they will. If not in this round, the next one. Or the one after that.
And let the insurance industry fall with them, for all I care.
Together, they can commiserate as the new health care system forges on, as
with mandated euthanasia, free Late-Term Abortion Tuesdays, Hooded
Death Panels, holding sickles and the newly revitalized extermination
of the Jews.
Such are the desperate ploys of the conservatives along with those
they truly represent as they collectively have their Oh,
shit moment. As in, this could actually happen.
The conservative movement has always enjoyed the benefit of having the
educated and well-read carry their intellegent and reasoned message.
Here we see yet another reason to hate the Chinese.
Lets concede that some reform is needed as before. Tell
the people that we have a plan
all of a sudden just as
before, pleas the conservative.
Hell, even the insurance companies have now developed new plans
of their own
all of a sudden, spending millions of premium
dollars on television advertising campaigns
without a dram of
specificity even on their own expansive, long-form websites. But they
have a plan
And where, you may ask, have the Conservative Republicans and the Insurance
Giants been over the past two decades or more?
The Best Fuck in the World Doesnt Matter
When She Has Gonorrhea
America is simply the best country in the world. We all know it
if only 11% of us have ever been to any other country in
the world, no less lived in one or even took a quick look by way of
a choreographed bus tour, through the tinted windows. And no, NASCAR
Epcot Center doesnt count. America, regarded as
superior to all by all
even though that the technical
majority of us (more than half) live and die within 100 miles of where we
were originally born, including the adventurous sojourns to a rowdy Town
Hall meeting and a Six Flags Theme Park adventure, for the lucky few. But
we Americans, as sophisticated renaissance people, still know that
America is tops. Discernment among the Hayseeds where McDonalds serves the
But no Greatest Country on Earth can be regarded as such without its required
companion piece: The Greatest Healthcare System in The World. No, never mind
that several of our most advanced surgical procedures were procured from
socialized medicine (though so few seem to know it, merely assuming that
we invented everything). After all, if it werent for
borrowed techniques, wed still be sawing off the top of
the skull whenever we went in to work on the brain.
And never mind that a host of our most advanced medical technologies were
developed in other countries with socialized medicine. See who holds the
patents, you simpletons. Christ, next time youre visiting someone in
the hospital, just spin that equipment array around and see where it may
well be made. Then run down to the lab and behold. Even our lab-based imaging
devices comes out of Olympus of Japan, Nikon microscopes
as well as from Leitz (Leica) of Germany. See who makes the incubators while
youre at it.
Next stop: The Operating Theatre. Here, again, virtually all imaging devices
are not only made but were developed in socialized medicine
countries. We couldnt even perform our surgical marvels
without the snake cameras coming out of socialized medicine. The surgical
knives? Soligen, Germany. But we do our own bandages and shit, it should
But hell, you couldnt even get an aspirin if it werent for a
socialized country. That would be Germany
yet again. The first antiviral
vaccine? That would belong to France. First to isolate insulin and make it
injectable? That trophy goes to
Canada. Interferon? A partnership
between Scotland and Switzerland. Penicillin, you ask? The UK and
Australia, jointly. Shit, the very first discovery of viral infection,
itself, belongs to The Netherlands. The list goes on
And most Americans credit them all
In truth, as a matter of verifiable fact, if it werent for the serums,
procedures, and toys of socialized medicine, this Greatest Healthcare System
in The World
wouldnt have much of its healthcare system
to begin with.
But okay, okay
so we steal shit from socialized countries, but make
somehow. Do them better. That must be it
America's Healthcare System, Third Leading
Cause of Death
now who the fuck headlined this communist propaganda bullshit?
Well, that report would be found in The Journal of The American Medical
Association (2000, July 26) as a heads up
itself. As reported, In spite of the rising health care costs
that provide the illusion of improving health care, the American people do
not enjoy good health, compared with their counterparts in the industrialized
In that I didnt see the above reported on FOX News, surely The
Journal of The American Medical Association jests
not. The journal cited some actual numbers
(pardon the actual copy
and paste here, but I wanted to make sure I didnt inadvertently add
a digit or something)
The medical system has played a large role in undermining the health
of Americans. A total of 225,000 Americans per year have died as a result
of their medical treatments:
12,000 deaths per year due to unnecessary surgery
7000 deaths per year due to medication errors in hospitals
20,000 deaths per year due to other errors in hospitals
80,000 deaths per year due to infections in hospitals
106,000 deaths per year due to negative effects of drugs (not
Thus, doctor-induced deaths are the third leading cause of the death in the
U.S., after heart disease and cancer.
Now, THATs being Number One for, adjusted to respective populations,
no other industrialized country compares. Boy, that sucks, huh? (I
wrote the sucks part, not The Journal of The American Medical
Society. But, referencing to the report, as concluded (and not by me)
In order to improve the medical system, American policymakers and the
medical establishment need to adopt a comprehensive approach and critically
examine the failure of the richest country in the world to provide decent
health care for its people.
Now, this isnt a report from that nasty, socialistic World Health
Organization that ranked the American Healthcare System at 37th in the world
(even as America is among the voting members, never once placing itself
in even the Top 20, among its own votes). This was from the American
Medical Association now likely on the conservatives perpetual
Shit List after supporting them so vehemently for so many years,
the ungrateful little fucks.
Now, would ObamaCare or any form of National Health Care change any of the
while a handful of my conservative friends often state that socialized
medicine has been nothing but a dismal failure in any country that
offers it, by the conservatives own standards the very
ones of their own choosing their own privatized system doesnt
fare any better
worse, in fact, in a number of parameters. For while
conservative pundits will often cherry-pick scenarios among Canada and the
UK regarding cancer survival rates, overall survivability rates among
a host or illnesses is generally lower in The States than that of
several countries with a national health plan
dozens of them, in fact,
as written by the American Medical Association, themselves. And several countries
beat our cancer survival rates, as well.
By the way, in a related aside, it was noted and written over 10 years ago
that English men, in particular, would reject the notion of seeking
medical attention or receiving even a routine medical check-up, as a matter
of form. Their arms would have to pretty much fall out of their sockets before
they went to see anyone and even then, they tried to fix it at home
with a staple gun. A phenomenon so disturbing to the National Health Service,
they experimentally tried installing the facilities for checking ones
blood pressure in the Pubs where men would congregate. It was this trend,
noted long before this current debate, that profoundly contributed to cancer
survival rates. By the time the English would seek medical care
was pretty much too late. And no, it had nothing to do with wait
lists or lack of sophisticated equipment. This was widely reported
a decade ago, but seemingly not reported on this day by way of FOX News.
For conservatives, as the gate-keepers to all things Christian, have
of late become the grand Liars of Omission, bordering
on the pathological.
But okay, if so
surely our Health Insurance industry is the
Best in The World (as there are so few countries that have a health insurance
industry to compete). But not so fast, Kato
a class action suit of 900,000 plaintiffs (nine hundred thousand)
was brought against one of the nations largest and most
respected health insurers, Blue Cross / Blue Shield, under the federal
RICO act. Yeah
And who were these 900,000 people, you may wonder? Those irrationally ungrateful
patients looking for some quick cash at the expense of other patriotic Americans
who pay elevated premiums in the name of Jesus Christ, our Lord, increasing
the cost of healthcare for all? Noooo
The 900,000 little shits
physicians. As reported:
Blue Cross and Blue Shield of North Carolina was among 23 Blues plans
across the country that Friday announced a $128 million settlement of a class
action lawsuit brought by 900,000 physicians regarding the insurers' business
practices. Numerous state medical societies were involved in the lawsuit,
which charged that Blue Cross plans harmed doctors (and their patients) with
unfair business practices that denied and delayed payments for medical care.
The complaint identified numerous Blue Cross and Blue Shield plans as defendants
in a scheme to defraud doctors in violation of the federal Racketeer Influenced
and Corrupt Organizations Act (RICO)." [Herald-Sun, 4/28/07].
in other words, the principle active members of The Greatest
Healthcare System in The Entire Mother-Fucking Universe flipped their
collective birds at one of the nations largest insurers and resoundingly
said, fuck you.
While FOX News commentator, Bill OReilly, rejects the conservative
label, conservatives have seemingly made him their own, nevertheless.
So, with that, OReilly has said that Misbehavior by the insurance
companies is rampant (Talking Points 09-10-2009). And, on the
very same program he conceded that aggressive (governmental) oversight of
the insurance company is required in any event. Oh
also asserted that while ObamaCare would be expensive, much of that would
be offset by the state and local governments saving billions of dollars on
the other end. So email him not me.
Now, Ive casually test marketed all of the above verifiable
facts with a handful of conservatives. Four of them just didnt acknowledge
them as if they didnt read it, never saw it. One cited them,
with a dismissive air, as being in defiance of everything they had ever heard.
.. Yeah, and so much more to the point. The problem: All of the above
So, would this not be a personal endorsement of Obama Care? No. I, instead,
am indicating that The States doesnt necessarily represent the finest
healthcare system in the world, rendering all other countries as being just
so third world.
Still, the conservative counters as part of an ongoing mantra
that people fly in from all over the world to be treated in The States. Now
heres the part they dont tell you and likely dont
even know, as theyre just a bunch of research-free lemmings, cloning
half-truths among themselves. The problem: Technically, more heads fly out
of The States for care than the other way around. And not just the rich
luxuriating in a clinic in some Scandinavian country ... Also those with
dual-residency status, commonly flying home for the big shit.
But not just them. No. Naturally born Americans heading into Central America,
South America even third-world Mexico for a variety of procedures
at about one-third of the cost, using the same equipment and general
facilities. And yes, they return alive. Completely. Beyond these people,
you have yet others entering into marriages of temporary convenience just
to get on the Canadian Wait Lists. But to the central
point again there are technically more people flying out
of The States for their medical needs, than flying in. They just didnt
tell you that part.
In any event, I recently asked someone in The UK if theyd opt for their
privatized system (yes, they have one) in favor of National Health Care,
as part of an apples and oranges consideration. He indicated that he would
if he could afford it. Twenty-four hours later, he reconsidered. Perhaps
he researched it, unlike conservatives in The States. After all, a privatized
system is always superior, as told, so theres really no need for the
conservative to research things
I, myself, would examine the private UK healthcare provider, BUPA Heartbeat
among the largest in The Kingdom. Lets not consider what they
cover. Its, perhaps, more instructive to see what they dont
Heres the list
AIDS / HIV
Allergies or allergic disorders
Chronic conditions (I like that one)
Complications from excluded or restricted conditions (see membership
Convalescence, rehabilitation and general nursing care
Drugs and dressings for out-patient or take-home use
Treatment to correct eyesight
HRT and bone densitometry
Overseas treatment and repatriation
Physical aids and devices
Pre-existing or special conditions (how American of you)
Pregnancy and childbirth (shit out of luck)
Screening and preventive treatment (nope)
Sleep problems and other disorders
(And my personal favorite)
Temporary relief of symptoms
This would represent the short list, mind you theres
more, but you get the trend. Now, in Conservative Land, this would be the
preferred system as its privatized. Its you know
free-market, and shit. And this is the part that BUPA advertises and makes
freely available on their own website (unlike their American contemporaries).
if the Republicans were smart and theyre not,
of late they wouldnt be focusing on the purported failings of
the UKs National Health Care, as they are. Theyd be drawing attention
to the deficiencies of their privatized system as an example of what
can potentially become of private care when its forced to compete with
a more socialized system. No, it wouldnt actually be an entirely fair
argument, mind you as, in The UK, it is the privatized system
that is the distant-second, also-ran
But at least it would give the
Republicans some new material to work with, rather than the repeated
recitation of the talking points theyre been using for the past 40
years. But conservatives: not bright. So theyll never do it. Besides,
theyve backed themselves into a corner by arguing the innate superiority
of privatized care over nationalized health care in every
instance, as theyve put it. So they cant draw that
gun. Theyre doomed by the very nature of their own argument.
But one of the more interesting arguments put forth by the
conservative tribe is that the health care system just couldnt
accommodate an additional 40 million, insured people
Carl Rove among countless others of his ilk have, at their
argumentative convenience, recalculated the math to suggest that
there are really only five million who are uninsured after they re-run
the numbers to diminish the overstated problem
ROVE: Of the uninsured, 9.7 million are not U.S. citizens; 17.6 million
have annual incomes of more than $50,000; and 14 million already qualify
for Medicaid or other programs. That leaves less than five million people
truly uncovered out of a population of 307 million.
Okay, I didnt bother to write Carl to let him know that it would be
fewer than five million people not less,
as Ive long recognized that Carl wasnt an English major, or anything
And never mind the fact that his numbers, as stated, technically
which is it, boys? 40 million? 5 million? The mean
average between the two? Or do the numbers change for the argument of the
moment? I mean, if conservatives cant entirely come together on other
issues, at least they should form an official consortium of some sort for
their twisted lies, it seems to me. Jeeze. It nevertheless demonstrates
the factual contortions and gyrations, combining ping with
pong, that the conservatives have been forced to play with.
But lets go with their first argument (the one that comes before noon,
not the other one that comes after lunch)
that it suggests that all 40 million of the lowly uninsured would be struck
by the bubonic plague at once, in an instant even though most
of these people wouldnt likely be tapping the system for much of anything
for some time to come (as admitted by Republicans as part of yet
another argument that theres plenty of time). It
also suggests that conservatives see no particular merit to expanded job
opportunities in the future in a nation that has always come together,
anything. Said another way, if we applied
this current defeatist attitude to World War II and all of the involved
industries supporting it
we wouldnt have been there. Indeed,
back when, Republicans didnt want us to be there, clinging to
The Neutrality Act, and fought Roosevelt almost every step of the way, prior
to Pearl Harbor
but thats another story
Be that as it may, the argument (No. 47A), in essence, suggests
fuck the 40 million people. Weve got ours.
But, in truth, the 40 million or the 5 million would be the
least of it. The people who are the most fucked are those of you
with insurance. This, as a unique area where Bill OReilly and
Michael Moore have oddly been in general agreement. I, with sadness,
had to realize this by losing two people who I loved both with
mega-doses of insurance. Both waiting while insurance companies first
denied, then fought among themselves for a period of time far beyond
any Canadian wait list. My loved ones waited
until they died.
Beyond this mention, I shall not write about it. And I seldom even try to
speak of it.
It is for this reason that if for nothing else the insurance
industry needs a smack-down of decisive proportions. It is for this reason
that Bill OReilly is quite correct in this instance. Im neither
pro-regulation or anti-regulation. I take things on a case by case basis.
Silly me. But an industry that routinely pays bonuses to those who deny coverage
to its already established policy holders requires a schoolmaster with a
whip. For, its been decisively proven that, once the teacher leaves
the room, many children misbehave and tear up the class. And, in this instance
Im sorry, my conservative friends
but that schoolmaster
has to be Big Government. I dont necessarily like it. I
recognize it. For, infrastructure and defense aside, what is a government
if not stepping in when an entire industry is fucking
people over repeatedly?
Despite a plan the ObamaCare Plan, which isnt actually
socialized medicine as far more broadly implemented in other countries
that will have its share of problems
and expenses, the current
modus operandi of Americas health care system has necessitated a change.
Not a tweak. And the Republicans have had far more than ample opportunity
to offer their own propositions when controlling The House, The Senate and
The White House. Years of opportunity. Wasted. Quite simply, they cant
be relied upon. And they never can be as long as they see no particular
problem, citing America as the envy of the world, with the finest
healthcare system in the world.
For me, personally, I recognize that information is often skewed to
socio-political perspectives. This, from any and all sides. But the conservatives
have now lost me on this issue because theyve spoken the greatest of
untruths, in spades. beyond what I had ever seen from them in the
past. Far beyond yes The Democrats in this instance. Some are
outright liars, yes. Others merely carry their water
the actual supply. It is, again, for this reason
that you have lost
me ... no matter how frequently this liberal has previously defended
you if only to state a position. And all I asked for was an
honest position. Youve lost me.
Finally, as a website frequently cited by many members of the media
both liberal and conservative I encourage you to visit an area of
Theyve frequently been used by FOX News. But curiously
not this time:
Lies About H.R. 3200